For anybody who does not live in the UK I’d like to start by telling you it’s a glorious day of 32 degrees right now, and I will probably melt. But what I’m really here for today is just to let you all know, I will be having a bloggers break for a month or two. It’s going to be kind of sad as I love to write, but I really need to focus on my job right now, going to the gym, and keeping positive. It’ll be good as I can have some time to think of some new material. I just have so much going on at the minute that the creativity part of the brain has just shut down, and writing is making me stressed and more frustrated than anything.
I will be making lifestyle changes to rid me from negative energy and can put me on the path of happiness. I am sick to death of having to live in the captivity of my own mind. I just find it hard to motivate myself as one side of me really wants to change, but the other half is just fighting against it. I will always start something to better my life, and then just find excuses as to why I should stop doing it after a while. But this time I need to be as motivated as possible, because I will never be free unless I change myself. I’m not going to lie, I’ve become a bit of a slob, my room is a mess, I eat too much shit, I drink way too much, some mornings I don’t even bother to shower. Now I know this isn’t the whole blame to why I am down, but I definitely think these things contribute. I think I’ve just got lazy, and that is starting to spread across into the rest of my life. I’m starting to get lazy around friends, family, only thinking of myself. It needs to stop, and I want to make necessary arrangements with myself for targets and goals on why I believe can contribute into making my life a little happier
- Clean bedroom from top to bottom, not just putting junk in a pile somewhere else in the room, or just clean the main bits, I mean the whole god damn room
- Stop avoiding the gym, and go twice a week like I originally planned, I can’t just sit at home and moan about the way I look without doing anything about it
- Shower every day without fail, instead of that extra fifteen minutes sleep, I don’t really perspire so I don’t tend to smell, but even so, it has to be done
- Try some different foods once in a while, I can’t always eat the same thing every time I go out and not try anything ever, I will never get to travel the world and experience new things if I’m restricted in what I eat
- Stop being so bitchy, instead of having something bad to say about someone have something good to say instead
- Stop smoking cigarettes and weed, to save money and also I find weed makes me so unmotivated and I’m really sure it doesn’t help especially with the way I have been thinking and feeling
- Make more time to spend with my family instead of going out every night
- Paying back all the money owed out, because the stress of having debt on my back is stressing me no end, the quicker I pay it back the quicker I can start saving
- Once all money is paid back start saving, and save a lot, cant plan for the future on penny’s
- Get driving lessons done, first I will need money, but make this a priority, for my own independence I need a car, I need to be able to get about and do what I want
- Stop fabricating stories to make your life seem more interesting
- Start spending money more wisely and stop spending it on shit that I just don’t need, it’ll only be me who will suffer in the end
- Learn to cook proper meals, how am I ever going to move out if I don’t know how to cook
- Same goes for cleaning, I must learn how to use all the appliances in the house, and maybe even help with some household chores
- When at home don’t just watch TV from the minute I get in till the minute I go to bed, go for a jog, bake something, do anything really
- Meditate to be at peace with yourself, just to take a few moments in the day to reflect on it, instead of spending all day over analyzing every situation that has occurred
- To make sure I am in bed at a decent time Monday-Thursday, it’s hard enough getting up at 6:30am with a good night’s sleep let alone a bad one.
There are a billion and one other things I could add to this list, but these are the main focus at the beginning of my journey. When I have some inspiration I promise I’ll be back, and it will be bigger and better, but for now, laters.
Love and Kisses
I wish my boyfriend knew what a great person he his, and how lucky I am to have him for myself. I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in bad thinking that they forget how amazing they truly are, a couple of bad decisions can’t change that, the way you look can’t change that, I wish everyone wasn’t so bothered about what is on show on the outside, and that it’s all about what your insides show about you. Not in a gross ‘your guts are spilling all over the pavement’ inside, but who you actually are as a person. My boyfriend is so kind, funny and thoughtful, he makes me feel super special, and I can count on him to be there when I need him. He makes me so happy, its like when I am not with him my life is in black and white, but when we are together everything bursts into vibrant colours, and life is good again. We have a bit of a weird relationship, I’ll be the first to admit it, but I wouldn’t change him for the world. I have always assumed that I would be on my own forever, because I am a bit crazy, and I had a pretty precise criteria, and then he came along, and that all changed, I changed, I am only a mere shell of my former self, and sometimes I think it’s a bad thing, I have become weak, I have become too trusting, but other times I’m glad I’ve opened myself up to this side of me, because I feel like I can finally be happy with who I am, and it’s taken me forever to get to this point. I don’t have to pretend anymore, he accepts me for who I am, and I love him for that, but I love him even more for who he is, I am so proud and grateful to have him by my side.
Love and Kisses
Well the new season of Orange is the New Black was a massive let down. Season one was unreal, season two it started to go downhill and season three was at the bottom of a pit. It had no big story line, most of it was unimportant rabble. It didn’t build up to anything, I kind of just sat there waiting for something big to happen, only to be disappointed. Maybe the writers ran out of ideas, because it was a shabby season. I felt there was no sense of direction, no goal. I had built myself up waiting for it to return to Netflix, only to watch 13 uninteresting episodes of nothing. This season there was no ‘villain’ and that bored me. Don’t get me wrong there are funny parts to it, sarcy humour, and some emotional storylines but after two days of binge watching I’m left feeling like I’ve wasted 13 hours of my life, when I could have been doing something better, like sleeping. The only thing that brightened up the season was the (hot) new face Ruby Rose, who made it slightly bearable. Even so her a Pipers love fiasco seemed rushed, there was no time to build up sexual tension, it reminded me of when you’re about to orgasm and not as intense as expected and you know you could have done better, but couldn’t quite make it. Overall id give the season a 4/10. That’s me being generous.
Love and Kisses
So I’ve been sick and off work this week, I have not left my bed apart from going to the doctors. It is now Friday night and I’ve come to chill with some friends for a couple of hours, sick of being cooped up in my room. I really miss my bed. It’s just like we’ve been inseparable all week and now we are apart I really miss it. I miss all the time we spent together and those wonferful moments snuggled up watching Netflix for hours. I’m glad we got to spent the time together.
Love and Kisses.
- Talk about yourself to much, nothing is worse than someone going on about their life in story form, keep information short, mix it up a bit, learn something about them in-between, don’t sit there and read them a novel on your life.
- Tell embarrassing stories, a slight embarrassing one is fine, but a super embarrassing story that could totally put them off you needs to be kept to yourself, save that one for later, it’s not first date appropriate, you could blow the whole deal.
- Be cringe, no one really appreciates a cringe chat up line, it can put people off, compliment away, but try to be cheesy, or crude on that note. There is nothing worse than a compliment like ‘I like your tits’
- Get to competitive, if your first date involves some kind of sport, there is nothing worse than meeting someone for the first time and them acting like it’s a fight to the death situation, it’s supposed to be fun, not a competition.
- Dress inappropriately, ladies no little tops and a mini skirt, and men please avoid tracksuits. You want to make a good impression, you don’t want them to thing you’re easy (unless you’re meeting solely for a quick shag) or that you couldn’t be bothered to get dressed for the day.
- Be afraid to ask questions, try and keep them general, don’t be invasive on their lives, it’s a first date so you don’t need their whole relationship history on a plate, but it’s nice to get to know them better so don’t treat it like a police interview.
- Run off to the toilet to have sex, this may seem odd, but I would say it happens a lot more than you may think. Maybe it was just me but still, don’t do it, it’s so awkward and that will likely be the last date and the first of many fumbles, which is great if that’s what you were looking for.
- Talk about an ex. Do I need to say anymore? No, no, NO.
- This one is for the men; eye contact, if a girl decides to show a bit of cleavage, the worst thing you can do is keep staring at it all night, barley making any visual on her face, it’s kind of embarrassing and super rude, a cheeky look here and there wouldn’t go a miss, but you don’t need to watch them like they are going to run of to Spain without your permission.
- Ladies; I know men are supposed to pay, but at least offer, just because you have a pair of tits doesn’t mean it’s you prerogative to get a free meal. 99% of time, they will pay anyway, but thirsty bitches be taking the piss. You don’t need a man to support you financially.
Other things to remember:
- Make sure your skirt is not tucked into your knickers after going to the bathroom
- Check for food in teeth
- Don’t sit on your phone the whole time, put it away and stop being unsociable
- Don’t be rude to the waiter, no one likes arrogance on a first date
- Try not to drink to much (I don’t mean one drink, I mean get drunk, but not to the point of being carried out of there)
- Have an arrangement with your friend for them to call you with some sort of emergency if the date is going down the shitter
Stalk all social media before you go, so you can think of conversation topics, also check if they are in a cult or a crazy serial killer, better to be safe than sorry.
Love and Kisses
Just like a million other people in the world, I’m waiting for my big win. You know the kind, when you win the lottery or find a suitcase with a million quid in it. I am not solely relying on a big win, because in my life, everything I have I want to earn, I want to be a successful lady with the world at her feet. I’m not that point yet, and have found my finances slowly declining, every time I look at it its missing another big chunk, from either a night out, a vet bill or even lunch for two. I owe out more money than I can afford, and saving right now is almost impossible. I’ve been dreaming of a win so I can pay back the money I owe put the rest into saving so I don’t ever get stuck in this no money situation again, because it really sucks. I am currently in my overdraft on top of that over a grands worth of debt looming over my head. It sometimes feels like a bad day I can’t escape. I need a big win to help me out of this hole I seem to be trapped in. The chances are slim, and I’m low on luck at the minute, but it doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped thinking about the possibilities of what I could do and who I could help if I had some money at the moment, it’s hard not to think about the things you can buy, the lives you can lead, the people you can help. Sometimes I even dream about it, maybe one day my luck will change, and will finally get what I need, I know money doesn’t make the world go round, but it would certainly help.
Your probably thinking, who is this white girl trying to act like she’s got it hard, because I know that there will always be people worse off than me and I need to appreciate what I have as much as I can, mainly to my parents who’s bank account I have rinsed for the last three months, buy a few bits, and because I live a cushty life, and if everyone was to throw their financial woes into a pile and take another out, I know that I’d want mine back
Love and Kisses