1.  When you are rushing for a train or a bus and some 23 stone big momma is waddling at 1mph and you can’t squeeze past

2. People at the young age of 40 trying to play off they are elderly and need a seat, no unless you look like you’ve just come from a history book, I’m not giving up shit

3. Getting stuck in the inside seat of the bus and awkwardly asking the other person to move, but it is unconfutable to ask if they are pushing on 90, or they weight the size of killer whale and you know that even if they did move you still wouldn’t be able to get your skinny ass out of there in time.

4. The way the bus drivers start moving the bus when you are only half way up the stairs, causing the fright of your life, and a near death experience, you have cameras, can you not at least wait until everyone is sitting? you clearly don’t value my life

5. When you have a seat on a cramped train, a man stands in front of you, with his groin right in your view, you don’t know where to look. It’s more awkward if they have a boner, as it feels like their groin is fully trying to molester your face, which is not what you need to be seeing right after breakfast

6. The impatient people who don’t let people of the train first, it’s so annoying trying to fight your way off a train if people are piling on. Be patient love, there is another train in one minute. It’s worse to miss a stop than it is to miss a train

7. It seems like survival of the fittest when you are adamant that a seat is needed, all the barging and cusses, you would think by the way people act that if you didn’t get on or get a seat, you would instantly disintegrate into millions of little pieces

8. Baby on board badges, no one cares if you’re up the duff, should have done the smart thing and fucked someone who had a car, why do they get priority because they are popping out an alien, I popped out a poo the size of alien last night, where is my appreciation?

9. Fat people that take up two seats, I mean how unfair is that? Just because someone is fat, you miss out on a chance of having a seat. Or when someone big sits next to you and they rest their fat on your legs, have you never heard of personal space?

10. Lack of deodorant, I always find it surprising they people smell like BO even in the mornings, do people not shower? The last thing you want first thing in the morning is having to stand on public transport with someone’s nasty BO infested armpit in your face



  1. Stalking is the quickest way to man’s heart…because a psycho stalker is what every man dreams of.
  2. If you like a man, change everything about yourself, just to please him.
  3. A geezer cutting in when you’re dancing in a club to come and grand on your booty is totally acceptable.
  4. If you try hard enough, you can change him, he won’t need any desire to change, it’s all on you hun.
  5. Waking up to a sexual assault is no cause for alarm, don’t call the police, and fall in love instead. Because silence, is clearly a form of consent.
  6. Men love it when you act uninterested, it works like a charm.
  7. Passing out in the home of seven strange guys is a safe and sane choice, what could go wrong?
  8. It’s totally acceptable for a man to kidnap you, don’t worry you’ll be safe
  9. A man who lies about his background would never lie to you about other things. I mean so what if his not an Arabian prince, you can settle for a bin man right?
  10. Lying about your age is a totally acceptable thing. If your 14 and his a price of 25 its okay.
  11. Marrying a geezer you just met will in no way end terribly, you will live happily ever after.
  12. Even if you’re a princess, your place is taking care of your man, that is what you were put on this earth to do remember that
  13. And always remember, it’s what’s on the outside that counts, because beauty is way more than brains.


I know this is terrible, and usually I am so aware with what’s going on the world, but we are currently holding our 2015 elections, and if I’m being honest, I know nothing about it. I mean I don’t know what any of the party’s stands for, their policies, or anything really. But the one thing that I do know is all the front runners for the parties are absolute wankers. I mean I know you are not voting for a person specifically but why put a leading man or the face of the party if they are weird obnoxious idiots. That doesn’t make me feel at ease when voting, I mean if labour thought Ed Milliband should lead there campaign, then what other stupid ideas are they going to come up with, it just shows poor judgement, which then worries me, can they be trusted to run our government. It’s not just Ed it’s all of them. Not only that but what the parties stand for confuses me, why would anyone want to vote UKip, if they were voted in you will go to sleep in 2015, and wake up in 1955, in a world of racist, sexist homophobes, surely Britain should be going forward, not revisiting the past. To be honest I don’t know much about all this election malarkey at all, and next time the election comes around, I am going to show more interest, and actually have some understanding to what’s going on, and what and who I am voting for. At least I voted, it doesn’t make sense why you wouldn’t, you can’t sit and bitch about taxes, immigration and tuition if you’re not going to do anything about it. Maybe the parties won’t do what they promise, but how will you know if you don’t vote? To be fair this time around I just closed my eyes and put a cross in a random box, because if none of the parties can offer me free macaroni cheese for life, I’m not interested.

Love and Kisses


1.   Resting bitch face, you immediately assume the worst even though they are probably lovely. Any women is capable of resting bitch face these days so don’t be fooled.

2.   When girls say ‘I can’t stand drama’ who you kidding bitch you thrive of it, I know your sitting there reveling in the fact that you get to be in the midst of all the bitchy action.

3.   The hunger for attention, of boys, people in the street, friends, it’s just like, eyes don’t have to be on you all the time you aren’t the most important girl in the world, you’re mediocre, with a bad attitude and a Michael Korrs watch.

4.   Girls that prioritize romantic relationships over everything else in their lives, especially there mates. The ones that disappear into thin air the second they get into relationships and then magically come running back to you when that’s in the shitter. Aint nobody got time for that.

5.   The girl group hierarchy drives me insane, why would you want to be friends with a group of girls when it is clear who the leader and who the followers are, your friends, no one’s better than another, so slap that bitch in charge and put her in her place.

6.   Girls who act dumb in front of boys, I mean what even is that? Is there a rule that says boys don’t like smart girls? I love calling other girls out on their purposeful stupidity. I would rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass. Who gives a shit what the boys may think, it isn’t cute it’s just annoying.

7.   The need to look better than your girl mates, every girl is guilty of it, why are we trying so hard, why is it so important to look better than your own friends. Friends should be seen as equals, not as competition.

8.   When girls say they know everything even though there boyfriend has been cheating on them for the last year with their best mate.

9.   The most attention seeking line ‘oh I’m so fat’ when they look like a toothpick, stop fishing for compliments, your fooling no one with your fake fat.

10.  The worst kind of girl is the one who gets cheated on by her boyfriend, stays with him and hates on the girl like ‘she knew he had a girlfriend’ bitch so did he. I don’t remember the other girl sleeping with someone else and coming back to bed with you, blame the right cheating asshole.

11.   Girls who don’t stand up for themselves, don’t let no other women, man or even god tell you what you can and can’t do, stop being a doormat and own your shit.

12.    “Omg! I love your skirt. Where did you get it?” “That is the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen.”Do I need to say anymore, why lie, just don’t comment in the first place, everybody has a girl friend who will tell you that you look great, only to find out she lied and you look like a whale on crack. Be honest.

13.  Women can be so bitchy to each other. I say can be, but really I mean ‘definitely are’ If they have a problem with someone, they let that shit fester. Then they take it out on you passive aggressively. I just wish some girls would stop running away from confrontation and speak up when they have a problem.

14.   Another one is women often ask for advice for bad relationships but have no intention of taking the advice or leaving the bad relationship/friendship, why bother asking in the first place? It’s just a massive waste of time.

Now with all the social media I can think of a few things specifically that girls hate about other girls.

15.  Making sure their selfie uploads are on point, looking a solid 10/10 when in real life they are barely a five, no filter is going to change what you look like in real life love.

16.   Compliments are getting flimsy, seeing comments that one girl has commented on another girls photo like ‘omg literally I can’t even’ can’t even what? What does that even mean, is it really that hard to drop a good compliment?

17.     When a girl uploads a picture of yourself and her when you are out, in the picture she looks like a Victoria secrets model, and you look like a Victoria sponge. Couldn’t you just cut me out; did you really need me there for comparisons?

18.    Girls who feel the need to write their whole life on social media, I mean I can tell you what my old best friend from when I was 10 had for dinner, and when she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend, or that time she got a new pet, can women not keep anything private anymore?

19.   Girls who hate on other girls, for wearing low cut tops or short skirts, who are you too tell someone what they can or can’t, or should or shouldn’t wear, you are not the clothes police so just shut up and sit down.

20.   The upload of that new Chanel bag you got, or the new Jimmy Choo’s your boyfriend brought you, stop fronting, you are impressing no one, all a girl cares about is what is in their wardrobe not what’s in yours, you are just trying to be flashy. No one likes a flash bitch.

Love and Kisses



So finally I have found a job after 6 weeks of being out of work, and I start Monday, so my spell of boredom will soon be over. I am currently temping this week, which I am so glad about, because I literally would have gone insane if I spent any more time at home. I say that like I rot in my room all day everyday but the truth is that I’m always out doing something. But it is a relief to know that I won’t be waking up at 12pm every day, with nothing to do and no motivation for life. I can’t wait to be busy again, doing nothing is so draining. Who would have thought that doing nothing could be draining. So I need to say goodbye to my late nights and lay ins, good bye to my daytime gym classes and goodbye to the lazy life. 

I’m hoping with my new job, comes new opportunities in life. I now have the opportunity of getting my shit together and making good decisions in life. I would do anything to make my life a little less stressful, the worst thing is that I bring it on myself to be honest, though decisions I have made, so now I get to start a new chapter and try again I have laid down some rules for myself, that I will try my hardest to keep, I can’t promise anything because I’m not a liar, and even though my rules sound so trivial, they are actually things that I need to accomplish, and I can almost promise that I will struggle.

 1.    Going out every night of the week with my friends, and coming home later than needed. I want to stick with only seeing my friends twice during the week, because otherwise I just end up out every night, doing nothing productive apart from getting stoned and getting drunk. I will be getting a laptop so instead I could be blogging or revising for my theory. To be honest, I struggle getting up normally so anything else that contributes to my unwillingness to get up feels like a mission impossible movie, bar the bit where it does become possible.

2.    Getting high and getting drunk on week nights, I only end up feeling like shit in the morning which isn’t a great start to the working day. I mean, if you have ever gone into a busy day at the office with a hangover or a stoneover you will know the struggle is real, also it’s a waste of my money and time, I could just sleep, and sleep is free

3.    Spending all my money like I haven’t got a care in the world, because I have, and I don’t make enough money to be partying like an LA Socialite. I think it’s finally time to grow up and start saving. When I lost my job, and didn’t have any money saved, I really had to re-evaluate the situation; I can’t be doing that kind of shit when I’m 40. What would have happen if I had lost my job, had three kids and a house to pay for with nothing saved up? I can’t keep on relying on the bank of mum and dad when I’m low on cash

4.    Going back to sleep. I need to stop going back to sleep after my alarm has gone off, or my favourite which involves me getting out the shower, getting into bed and catching another 10 minute snooze. What’s the point? I only end up more tired than I was in the first place, plus it’s hard to get back out from, because it’s too warm and comfy.. I just want too.. zzz.. You get my point. 

5.    Obsessive iPhone disorder. I am literally obsessed with what may as well be my boyfriend, the amount of time I spend on it. Its distracting at work, one text turns into a long ass conversation, and I’m at work not at home, my social life can wait, and I have to remember this because my social life won’t be paying the bills, well unless I become an unofficial celebrity, which I wouldn’t mind, I’m already a self-proclaimed celebrity so it’s just a step up until I make it (which will be never.)

6.    Finally, I need to stop moaning about absolutely everything and just get on with it, moaning will only pre-long my day, and only make motivating myself ten times harder. Once I do it, and it’s done, I won’t have to think about it again, I’m still going to have to do it, no matter how much I moan, so I may as well cut out the moaning middle man, and do my shit.

I hope that I read this and remind myself that my day-to-day life needs to change, I’m spending too much money, I’m not getting enough sleep and I’m just unmotivated for life. How am I supposed to be rich and successful if I become a slacker? How am I supposed to rule the world if I haven’t even got my shit together? If I want to live like a princess for the rest of my life I better get my act together, because princesses aren’t poor peasants with no ambition to go far in life, they are go-getters, and that is what I need to become. 

Love and Kisses


I am going to go insane if I have anymore time of work, I am so bloody bored. There is only so much you can do at home, especially when you are low on money. My life just seems to have gone downhill. I’m trying to keep my shit together, I’m trying to find a job, I’m trying to keep positive, but it’s all starting to get me down. I have had a job since I was 15; I have never been unemployed in my life, and now I’m bumming around at home, desperately applying for jobs, knowing that if I don’t, I’ll have no source of income next month, with bills to pay its starting to stress me out. Someone once said to me, don’t worry, and hold tight, it will get better. When? I’ve been waiting and waiting and things are only getting worse. Right now I literally see no point in my life, I feel like such a failure, and I just don’t know what to do next, how can I make good of this shit situation I seem to have found myself in?

Love and Kisses.


There is something I have to get off my chest about my boyfriend. Our relationship seems to be so bipolar, everything is great, then boom it’s not, and then it is again, it’s a vicious cycle. I can be so happy at times, and I never want them moments to end, because in them moments, I am besotted by him, my heart races, and I feel like a 15 year old girl again, when you get your first crush. But then there are other times when I just want to run away, run away from it all. My main issue is that his young, he has never really experienced being single, he has a group of friends who are mostly single, who are always out too pull birds, not that there is anything wrong with that, they are single they can do what they want, but my boyfriend isn’t. I trust my boyfriend when his out, that is not the issue, as you can imagine a group of single boys are out every weekend, so seems to be my boyfriend, now that in itself is also not the issue, its taking me a while to get to my point here, but I’ll get there.

My boyfriend loves to drink, when he goes out he drinks excessively, and god knows what else. He is easily led, and it probably doesn’t help if you have a drug dealer in your circle of friends. I see what kind of states he gets into when he goes out, and it actually worries me. I ask him to text me to let me know he gets home safe and I hear nothing, followed by lame excuses of him being too drunk. Is it really that hard just to send a quick text saying that you are home? I sometimes feel like his friends always come first with me, when I see him at the weekend it will have to revolve around what he is doing with his mates, which I can deal with although sometimes annoying. But then I find, that the next day he never wants to do anything with me apart from hang out in bed because his too hungover, I mean I don’t ask for a lot, but I want for us to go out and do stuff together but he is always more interested in going out with his mates and getting pissed.  I can’t remember the last time we went out just us too, is he embarrassed of me or something, because that’s how I feel sometimes.

There are times where I wish that he would pick me over them, because I always feel like a back-up plan. Why would he not choose to do something with me, or come home to me instead of going to after party, to after party? Am I really that bad? Is it really that bad hanging out with me? It makes me feel so unwanted, and underappreciated. And that’s what upsets me; I end up feeling so shit about myself, wondering if I’m the problem, feeling like him hanging out with me is more of a chore than a choice. I just wish that he could he understand that this is how I’m feeling, because I love him, I love him more than Chuck loved Blair, I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I want for nothing else than for our relationship to work and live happily ever after, but somethings got to give, because feeling unwanted is the worst feeling in the world.

Love and Kisses