NEVER TOO MUCH

large (6)Is it normal to worry about the fact that you may love someone more than they love you? It’s a serious worry of mine. Once you’ve broken down that hard wall of my cold exterior I’m like a cute little fluffy rabbit. Not many people get to see this side of me, the ‘soppy’ side. I don’t like to make it a public thing, I would hate for someone to take advantage of it. But I always find when I love someone, I love them too passionately too deeply, I’m worried it will scare them off, but it makes me sad that I don’t always feel the love is returned. I know everyone is different, but how can I live a life with my burning love inside with someone who can’t even start a fire.

Love and Kisses

TIME OVER MONEY

large (88)Time over money, always. People who think money over time are so wrong. I mean what kind of life is that to lead, a life where money is more important than your valuable time. I never regret wasting my money, but I always regret wasting my time. You can get back money, you can make more money, you can’t take back time, or make more. I think people have some really screwed up priorities. Everyone is so materialistic, there is more to life than expensive things, there is more to life than even inexpensive things. There is nothing more important than time, we only get a small amount of time so we must use it wisely, when we die, how will all that money you have help people you love remember you? It won’t. They will remember all the precious time that you spent together, you can leave memories that will last forever, and what in life is more important. Moral of my paragraph, spend your time wisely because you’ll never be able to get it back.

Love and Kisses

50 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

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  1. I love my cat more than any human being on earth
  2. I was supposed to move to Chicago and go to private school, but ended up staying here, still regretting the decision
  3. I can’t really tell the time on an analogue clock, I’m 21.
  4. I told everyone I cannot swim, because I hate it and don’t want to get forced into it
  5. My hair has been dyed every colour under the sun, but I am in fact a natural ginger
  6. I cry at the Disney movie cars
  7. Being 19 was my favourite age
  8. I once had my name featured on the staff list in grazia magazine
  9. I only eat one brand of butter, if it’s not the right brand, I will know after the first bite
  10. I taught myself to fanny fart via a youtube tutorial
  11. My iPod is full off RnB predominantly 2005-2010 as music these days is shit
  12. I could have been an Olympic gymnast, but gymnastics made me ill
  13. When I need to calm down from being angry I listen to Frank Ocean Sweet Life to calm down
  14. I hate flying insects with a passion
  15. I still wear clothes from when I was 11, yes they still fit, I have a clothes hoarding problem
  16. I will only wear a dress that I’ve worn on a night out once
  17. I spend more on my cat than I do myself
  18. I was once in two London newspapers for being in the front row at London fashion week with the headliner ‘Young photographer captures vibrant moment’
  19. my motto in life is ‘two drinks is better than one’
  20. My ultimate dream in life is to live in California
  21. I love my step parents, as much as I love my real parents
  22. I suffer with really bad nightmares
  23. I didn’t sleep in my own bedroom for two years because I was scared
  24. I buy the same phone case every time I need a new one
  25. I cry myself to sleep most nights
  26. I hate the way I look when I don’t have eyelash extensions on
  27. I pretty much live in the doctors surgery
  28. I’ve had more ambulance rides than hot dinners
  29. I can’t stand when people interrupt me
  30. I will never get on a bus without it being a life or death situation
  31. I once pranked my friend nan pretending to be Kylie Minouge
  32. People who wear fake uggs make me feel sick
  33. Boys with a bun in their hair makes me want to gouge my eyes out
  34. I hate all dogs that aren’t mine, they smell and they are gross
  35. I have a serious over thinking problem
  36. I suffer from severe middle child syndrome
  37. My favourite musical is Wicked
  38. I hate leaving my house with unpainted/chipped nails, it makes me feel homeless
  39. I am really impatient and can’t stand in queue longer than 3 minutes before I get angry
  40. I once was a Hannah Montana fan girl, dressed up like her and did shows for her parents, this would be fine, but I was 16.
  41. I don’t take myself seriously enough
  42. I’m hate the hairdressers and only get my haircut every few years
  43. I still have Hello Kitty bed sheets
  44. I can’t live without my mum for more than 2 weeks, and that’s pushing it
  45. When I drink too much I turn into a blabber mouth
  46. I am obsessed with serial killers
  47. I once shit myself in my adult life
  48. I have the strongest bond with my siblings, I don’t know what I’d do without them
  49. I find it hard to trust people
  50. Macaroni cheese is my life

FANATICAL ABOUT CATS

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I don’t think it’s normal how obsessed I am with my cat. I literally think about him all day. If I ran, which I don’t, I’d run home from work just to see him. Little Smoochie has become so cute and affectionate as of recent and I love it. We cuddle in bed like when he was a kitten and hell venture to my lap if I’m watching TV. I wish I could set up nanny cams in my house so I could watch him from my desk at work. I would probably get no work done and just watch him all day.  I sometimes get emotional when I leave for work in the morning; it always feels like I’m leaving my child alone for the first time. I get worried in case he needs me and I am not there. I can’t wait to get home now and cuddle my little fluff ball.

Love and Kisses

TERRORISTS VS. MUSLIMS

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People are just so little minded, it really winds me up.  If you watch the news, or keep up with what’s going on the world then you will know the terrorist issues we are having at the moment. Now before I make the actual point I want to make, I just want to discuss the terrorist matter first. We live in a terrible world at the moment, with people who do terrible things. It doesn’t make sense; one of the excuses is that it’s for their religion. Why would you want to follow a religion that believes you are greater than everyone else, and that lives need to be offered as sacrifice or for punishment? Look at all the poor innocent people who have had to pay the ultimate price, and be slaughtered like animals, humiliated by videos spread across the world, showing their grizzly deaths for everyone to see. For what reason tell me? They say it’s for the greater good. For what greater good would that be, how is butchering innocent civilians good for anyone? And the ones that are killed are the lucky ones. What about all the little boys being radicalised after their families have been killed or captures, getting guns put into their hands, bombs strapped to their chest, they don’t even know what their fighting for, they don’t even get a choice. What about all the girls and women getting sold off or married off to the extreme fighters, forced to be brides, who suffer abuse, rape, threats and violence. What about all the babies who they had no use for, who served no purpose? It’s sickening; these people are horrible people who deserve to burn in hell. There is no excuse, other than greed and power, and a sense of entitlement.  When will it stop? Why do we have to be punished? They have it in for us westerners, they don’t believe we are good enough. They believe that any non believers should be punished. How are they so detached? How do they live with themselves knowing all the pain they have caused? I find that people here are not bothered, it’s in another country and it’s not our problem. Well it is, and it will continue to be. I think people forget that we as a country, the US and other places as well, are targets.   We should be worried; we should be trying to stop them. How many more innocent people have to die to the hands of these evil terrorists?

Still not getting to the point I want to make, I have another rant on the same subject. Please tell me why are these terrorists and supporters of evil allowed in our country? Why would they even want to be here if they hate us all so much? If you don’t like it, leave, don’t just sit there and complain about it. You chose to be here, no one forced you. You’re living in our country, on our benefits, on our free health care scheme, what more do you want. Well we all know what ‘more’ they want. They want everyone to be believers of their religion and for all to live by Sharia law. Well I’m sorry, but we are in Britain now, if you can’t accept that.. Leave; go back to your war ridden country, why should we offer safety and security when these extremists are threatening us. We are under attack, and these people, these terrorist are among us, working in our shops, living on our streets. It disgusts me.

Now to my actually point, It may seem a little contradictory considering what I have just stated. Something that angers me equally as much as terrorism, is the racism towards Muslims in the UK. It’s the same with every race and religion, there are the people who live their lives here, they work, they live they pray, and there are the people who want to see bloodshed. The point is, that just because you are a Muslim, does not make you a terrorist. I see it all the time now, people abusing the Muslims in the street, even women and children. It’s so horrible to see, because for the group of extremist out there, have dragged the Muslim religion through the dirt. The media is so focused on religion and beliefs of these terrorist that it seems to be giving the whole Muslim population a bad name. Just because they share a religion, doesn’t mean they share the same extreme beliefs. An example of this uncalled for racism; I was on facebook today, and someone had shared an image of three Muslim women fully covered with their eyes exposed, with the caption, share this if you are offended. It had millions of shares. Someone tell me how are these ladies offensive. We live in a free country, you can wear what you want, you can believe what you want, it’s a life choice, it’s an opinion, and this is something that everyone is entitled to. Since when was covering your whole bodies an offence to society? I bet if they were page three models people would be less offended. It just saddens me that because these people are of a certain religion, that they suffer abuse. We’re becoming just as bad as them, condemning others for not sharing beliefs. Why do people think that Muslims are bad, there are plenty of Muslims out there, who don’t believe what these terrorists are doing is wrong, equally as much as we do. I feel like because the media have generalised the Muslim society, and pretty much branded under the terrorist category that society are lapping it up, and hanging off every word they write or say. We should be making our decisions; we should be seeing people for who they are inside not on the religion they follow.

People need to realise that being a Muslim does not make you a terrorist; they are just trying to get on with their lives and live happily like everybody else. No one wants abuse hurled at them whist walking down the street, for something they did not do, or do not agree with. No one likes to be left out or harassed for being something they are not.  You guys really need to open your minds and aim your abuse at the people who actually want to attack us, not the poor innocent civilians who want to live safely and in peace.

Love and Kisses

WHAT GOSSIP GIRL HAS TAUGHT ME: MOVING ON

d4d1a4ae791fe763c3807da80429679bSomething that is made very clear in Gossip Girl is that you can’t move on from someone if they are still in your life. Not only did I learn this from GG but a real life lesson as well. I mean how you can move on from someone you deeply loved, if you have to see them all the time. It is just too hard, to be with that person, but in a different way. You can’t just turn off feelings, even though it’s supposed to be different, and you will have to act in a different way with your (ex) partner, you won’t be able to change your mind set. Sometimes It’s hard to remember that the dynamics have changed and easy to fall back into old routines. Prime example: Blair and Chuck, how many times did they break up, end up having to hang out again and either falling madly back in love, or announcing war on each other, only for them to break up and the cycle start again. Until finally they got it right, they got the space they needed, and in true Gossip Girl style ended up together for good (the best moment of my life.) Not everyone gets the Chuck and Blair fairytale.