So my dad, step mum and baby sisters, are all going to up and leave me. My step mum is American, and she wants to go back to the states, to put the baby through school, and for career purposes. She has scarified a lot, she has lived here for over 10 years, so that my dad can stay in contact with my brother and I.
When I was little we used to visit every other weekend, it used to be great. we had quite a lot of rules at our house, so going to ‘dads house’ was our chance of freedom, we could stay up late, use the computer as much as we wanted, and watch TV till our faces went blue. When we were old enough to decide when we wanted to go, I stopped going. I don’t know why, probably because I was lazy and the was at the time, hassle for me as we lived in the suburbs and they lived in central London.
I lived with them for a year, back in my final year of school. I always felt that they never had me there out of choice, and I bet they wished I hadn’t interrupted there quiet life. Personally living there really helped me grow up, they were dedicated to my school work and ensuring that I got good grades, which I appreciate, as things like GCSE’s will follow you for the rest of your life when applying for jobs. At the time they didn’t have children, so me living there was there first taste of living with a teenager.
After I moved out to live back at home with my mum, I didn’t see them for a while, I felt like they had had enough of me and dealing with my shit. Then they sprung the exciting news on me that my step mum was pregnant, and they were having a baby. I was overjoyed. I could be a big sister again. Its different, having a new born sister when your young to when your in your twenties. Yes, there is almost a 20 year age gap, but I like it that way.
The baby was born, and I fell in love with her. We were a happy family once again. She had brought us closer, and I felt like this time they actually loved me too. I take the big sister role very seriously, I do the same for my teenager sister also. I looked after the baby, when my parents had to go work, I saw her weekly to watch her grow. It was a beautiful time in my life. I mean, it still is, I don’t really have time for weekly visits, but I do go as often as I can. We have a bond, and I can see that she loves me, as much as I love her.
She is about 16 months old now, as she has got older she has got more affectionate, and is always giving me kisses and cuddles. She can walk, sing and knows various words and signs. I love spending time with her. And now all of this talk of them going back to the states to live there life, breaks my heart. I will barely get to see her, what if she forgets about me? What if we lose our connection? they are looking at apartments, and jobs out there, and I pretend to be happy, but deep down inside It pains me to know that they are going to leave me, and this life behind. Maybe I’m being selfish, I only wish the best for them..
Love and Kisses